I Get Scared

Why does my mind automatically try to focus on the worst case scenario? Doesn't it know that if it keeps that up, it will slowly drive me to the point of losing it? With the exception of yesterday when I was in pretty crappy spirits all day, I have been doing a pretty good job of being positive. I know that a positive attitude is very important to have in this type of situation.

But there are still fleeting moments when my mind wanders to that worst case scenario.

Ainsley and I went to lunch with my mom today. As I was driving down the road, I could hear the two of them in the backseat laughing and singing and just having a great time. My mind chose this moment to wander...

I hate my mind sometimes.

At the restaurant, my mom bought Ainsley a lollipop as we were leaving. When we got back into the car, I could hear them laughing about whose lollipop it was. Ainsley said it was hers because NaNa gave it to her. My mom said it was hers because she bought it. It was a really cute little argument and it made me laugh, knowing that Ainsley didn't realize that my mom was only kidding around. My mind chose this moment to wander...

I hate my mind sometimes.

Ainsley fell asleep in the car on the way home. When we got home and I was getting her out of her car seat, she woke up and sleepily asked, "Where NaNa go?" My mind chose this moment to wander...

I hate my mind sometimes.

It scares me.