Why?

The quiet of the night is when it gets really hard. The thoughts and questions come at you so fast that you don't have time to duck.

Why is this happening?
Why my mom?
Why do I feel like I am in mourning, when my mother is very much alive?
Why does getting the answers back from the doctors take so long?
Why didn't God answer my prayers and let this not be cancer?
Why does cancer even exist?
Why can't we find a cure for this horrible disease?
Is it normal to feel so angry?
Who or what do I direct this anger at?
Why does it hurt so bad that the only way to ease some of the pain is to just cry?
When am I going to wake up and realize that this is all just a very bad dream?
Why can't I make it better for her?